Wow! How things can change in a year. This weekend was the regional basketball tournament, and all week, I found myself reminiscing back to this time a year ago. Tony was coaching. I was supporting. It was good at times. It was hard at times. He was gone a lot. I was okay with that because I believed in what he was doing. Tony was teaching. He enjoyed it. He had a great talent for working with kids with disabilities. I was so proud of him in everything he did. Our kids were happy. We were happy.
But there were also some negative feelings. It was Tony's fourth year coaching and his fourth time coming oh-so-close to putting together an upset at regional tournament. So close, but so far away. People weren't kind. In fact, just a year ago, I was doing everything I could to find the positive in an otherwise sickening situation as people attacked my husband for anything they could come up with. I wrote it down. http://www.tonyandtaffy.blogspot.com/2014/03/lessons-learned-as-coachs-wife.html Tony was hurting, but incredibly resilient. Once again, things didn't go like he wanted them to. Once again, people were angry. And once again, he went back to the drawing board and began the hours and hours of planning for next season.
But there wouldn't be a next season. Suddenly, it was over. The decision was made without him knowing, and there was no going back. We were shocked, and felt betrayed. Once again, we were forced to find the positive. Again, I wrote. http://www.tonyandtaffy.blogspot.com/2014/04/our-circle-of-control-importance-of.html
One part of that blog post ended up being prophetic. Tony knew better than I did, I guess. I have thought about this paragraph SOOO much lately:
"I told Tony that I was going to write this today, and asked him what I needed to be sure to include. He said that it's important for us to realize that God has a purpose for every experience of our life. What Tony wants most is to help fulfill that purpose, rather than waste it. Whether we are supposed to learn something important, whether we are supposed to help someone else, or whether we are being led in a new direction, we need to do all we can to do what is intended for us, rather than sit around and be victims of our circumstance. I agree."
Now it's a year later. And I need to write once again. Can I just say that I LOVE MY LIFE?!? And I never could have imagined it a year ago. I so agree with this:
Lately, I feel overwhelmed with gratitude for my life....not just where it is at, but even the circumstances that brought it about. Because honestly, how can I feel the way I do right now without acknowledging the truth behind how it has come to be? Let's face it. Tony was never going to quit coaching basketball. Because that's how he thought about it--it would be "quitting," "giving up on the boys." He could never do that. Once coaching was gone, we decided that it was time to re-evaluate the timing for a change in occupation from teaching to ranching. And it just felt right. And so now, a year later, I would do it all again. Even as I say that, I realize that it sounds crazy. A year ago, things were pretty bad. But if that's what I had to go through, if that's how I had to feel then to feel the way I do now, I'd do it again.
So why is it so great? Why do I love our new normal so incredibly much? Here are a few of the perks:
1. I now know what a "Family Saturday" is. One Saturday in January, we cleaned the basement, went to ball games (stress- and worry-free :) ), did some baking, got piano music organized for lessons for the next couple months, watched the Cowboys on TV, took our Sunday baths, and went to bed with a clean house, ready in every way to worship the next day. I couldn't even believe how amazing this new day could be! We had never experienced it. And I LOVE Saturdays!! (Oh, and evenings at home as a family are nice, too. We've had more of those this winter than ever before!)
2. At the ball games this year, when I would see parents put on their negative faces and shake their heads disapprovingly over and over....and over....my feelings weren't hurt. It wasn't my concern. Huge weight lifted.
3. Lunch looks like this:
See that handsome guy in the background? Ya, he's a constant figure around here during lunch time. And in the winter, when work is slow, lunch time can be pretty long some days. We sometimes work out together. Sometimes we even go out for lunch. But every day we talk. And I love him.
4. You can't ever put a price tag on the relationships Tony and our young boys will build over the next several years. He is such a major part of their lives. One of the things I was so upset about with Tony not coaching was him losing all that time with Connor. But the time he gained with these little guys is invaluable!
5.
A picture can say so much. Look at the joy!! I love this smile, and I get to see it every day. Tony is doing something he absolutely loves! He loved teaching and coaching, too. But something about ranching takes that happiness to the next level, and that makes me joyous.
It's amazing how quickly our new way of life has grown on us both. We were talking the other day about how we thought it would be strange for awhile, but that it never has been. This is our new normal, and it feels more right that anything we've ever felt. And because of that, I have learned this lesson better than I could have in any other way:
It's true.
