"Pay Attention": A Lesson Learned Running

A couple weeks ago, on a Saturday morning, I headed out on a longer run. I have been training to run a half marathon and was excited for my longest run of this training so far--8 miles. I had a goal pace and a route planned out, and I was wearing my best running friend on my wrist to help me assess my progress along the way.  Miles one and two take me east from my house, and then I turned south for the next two miles. I was focused and things were going just as planned. But as I neared the end of my fourth mile, my planned turnaround point, I started feeling like I should try a different route and make a loop instead of just going out and back. Just past the fourth mile was my turn, and I headed west.  I had run another half mile or so when I glanced to my left and saw the majestic Uinta Mountains.

They were BEAUTIFUL! I immediately wondered how I had just looked at them for the first time when I was running toward them for two whole miles earlier. What was I doing?? I was so focused on my pace that I never bothered to look up and pay attention to the beauty that was right in front of me. For the next mile and a half, I kept trying to get more looks at them so I could really enjoy the view, but it was extremely difficult at that point. Running forward and looking out to your left is tricky.

Before long, my course turned north and there was no way for me to even glance at the mountains. I really had missed my chance. By then, my mind was less focused on my pace and more focused on the experience I had just had. Although there can be many lessons learned from this, the one that hit me powerfully had to do with my mothering. When I realized that I had missed my chance to truly enjoy the spectacular view in front of me, a little voice spoke to my heart, saying, "They're only young once. Pay attention now." As my children start to grow older, they spend more and more time out of my watch, and it feels like all I get is sideways glances. Soon, they will leave home, and my chance to enjoy them will be past.

And so I want to pay attention. I don't necessarily wish that I had slowed my pace. I just wish that I had not been so preoccupied with it. Similarly, life is not going to slow down, and the pace of it may even be important in order for me to reach my goals. But I can still choose to not get so wrapped up in the pace of it. I can look up and notice the beauty of childhood that is currently right in front of me.

It turns out that I greatly underestimated the distance of my new course, and I ended up running 10 miles that day, two more than planned. But I am grateful. Because I followed that simple feeling to take another route, my Heavenly Father was able to speak to me and teach me something He needs me to learn right now: "They're only young once. Pay attention." I pray I can follow this simple advice. And I pray that He will continue to teach me in His simple and loving way.

(Photo credit to Scott Jarvie.) 

A Simple Tip for Self Empowerment

It seems like these are the two things we always wish we had a little more of.  We think that if we just had a little more time, we would get everything done. If we just had a little more time, we could do some of those things we want to do but never get around to. If we just had more money, we could live with less stress and just enjoy life more, right? I have to admit that I have had all these thoughts. But here's the thing. I'm NEVER going to have more time, and I'm realizing more all the time that money is very poorly correlated with happiness.

So I've made a decision. It's a simple thing, but it's changing the way I think about things every day and helping me live my life with so much more purpose and happiness.  The decision is simply to get rid of two phrases that I have used far too much in my life.

"I DON'T HAVE TIME."

"I CAN'T AFFORD IT."

Although I've used these phrases for years and have never given them a second thought, ever since I have given them a second thought (and a third thought, and a 78th thought...ya, I've thought about this a lot), they now make me cringe.  When these words come to my mind, and out of my mouth, I become a victim. A victim to the same 24 hours a day every other person in this world has. A victim to money--something that can never make me happy. And a victim to choices that I am making that are the exact choices I want for my life!

Awhile back, I was feeling overworked, overwhelmed, and overly sorry for myself. To help me justify my feelings and to help my husband see why I was a crying mess, I made a list of all the things on my plate. I wrote them all over a notebook page underneath the header "Things I Have To Do". I organized them into three categories: daily, weekly, and occasionally. Included were things I "had to do"for my children, for my husband, for our home, for church, and for my various part-time jobs. Included were things like doing laundry, cleaning bathrooms, packing lunches, nursing the baby, helping with homework, cooking meals, and preparing lessons. And then to the right of that list, in a much smaller space on the page, I wrote a short list of "Things I Want To Do." This included things such as exercise, reading, and blogging.  I shared the list with my husband and then left it out on the dresser for several weeks. I glanced at it often, continuing to wallow in my self-pity.

Then one day I realized something, a game changer, really: I didn't HAVE to do a single thing on that list. If I wanted to quit cleaning bathrooms, who was stopping me? I could have the kids feed themselves dinner every night if I wanted to. The older ones are big enough to dump some cereal in a bowl and put some milk on it. They could do it for the little ones, too, while I did something else. Or the little ones could find some chips or fruit snacks or something. I could quit helping with homework and just let them do the best they can on their own.  Laundry, vacuuming, church callings, outside jobs.....I didn't have to do them. At any time, I could just go out to the car and drive away. Away from it all.

So why do I stay? Why do I keep doing it? Because honestly, I WANT to. There really should just be one list. "Things I Want To Do." And while I may not enjoy all the things on the list equally (let's face it, cleaning bathrooms just doesn't compare to reading a good book), they are truly all things I WANT to do because of what I value.  I want to do laundry because I value wearing clean clothes. I want to cook dinner because I value family dinner time and nutrition. I want to help my kids with their homework because I value education. I want to do my church calling because I value my commitments to my Heavenly Father. I want to be the best wife and mother I can be because I love and value my family.

I used to fall into the uber-popular busy contest, where all people talk about is how busy they are and how crazy life is. But I found that thinking that way always brought me back to that emotionally draining phrase: "I don't have time." Now I realize that I'm as busy as I choose to be. If something isn't of value to me, I can choose to eliminate it from my life. I don't have to do EVERYTHING available to me. I can choose. I have eliminated some things from my life (not because I can't do them anymore, but because I choose not to) to help me live the life I want. And still sometimes, things get hectic. Yesterday, I made 5 separate trips to one town or another running kids to activities, running errands, and subbing for the cross walk lady. It was definitely a busy day. But it was the best kind of busy because I was busy doing things on my "Things I WANT To Do" list, which is the only list I have anymore.

So now for that second phrase I don't use anymore: "I CAN'T AFFORD IT." Just like the way I spend my time is a reflection of what I value, I also use a value-based approach to spending money. I have had this relationship with money for much longer than my new-found approach for thinking about my time-spending. THANKFULLY!! I say this because we were very young and inexperienced when we made the biggest purchase of our lives--our home. Our home is very modest. I don't have fancy anything, really. We have linoleum, basic oak cabinets, basic white appliances, and low-quality carpet. Our furniture is all second hand, and our basement is still not finished after ten years of living in our house. Why? Well, if I wanted to feel like a victim, I would answer, "Because we can't afford anything nicer." But that's not true. We could have taken out a bigger loan and gotten a nicer house, we could buy all-new furniture and make monthly payments on it, and I could call the flooring guys tomorrow to come in and give me the floors of my dreams. I could pay for that with our savings, or put it on a credit card. So why don't I? I value other things more, mainly financial stability.

But it's not just about security; it's also about value. It's not that I can't afford name brand clothes. I'd just rather spend a little money on family photo books. It's not that I can't afford dish TV. It's just that I value the time we spend not watching it. It's not that I can't afford new cabinets in the kitchen. It's just that I'd rather have a savings built up for when the appliances break down. It's not that I can't afford to eat out all the time. It's just that I value family vacations and would rather save for those.

And so I LOVE my simple house! I'm not a slave to my mortgage, which leaves me free to make other choices with my money. I love that I get to spend a lot of time in it because I'm not away from it all the time trying to make more money so we can pay for it. I love the memories we have created as a family, both here at home, and on the many vacations we've chosen to take.

Often, decisions about time and money come to a crossing point. In order to save time, we have to spend more money. Or in order to save money, we may need to spend more time. This is where I often struggle to decide which I value more--my time or my money. And for me, it varies depending on what else I am choosing to do or buy at the time. For example, I choose to bake bread as a way to save money. I bake it faithfully, every other week, or even weekly at times, to keep up with demand. However, I take a bread-baking hiatus every summer, when the value of gardening and recreation increase. At that point, the extra money spent on bread is worth the time saved.

Now, I'm not trying to say that everybody should make the same decisions with their time and money as I do. We are all individuals with different circumstances, interests, and values. But I am saying that living consciously is empowering. Being aware of how I am spending my time, and asking myself if I am filling my life with the things that matter most is changing me. I've made a few minor changes, but for the most part, I'm still living the same way I have. Just with a different perspective.  By being aware of my time and money choices each day, I am building the life I want rather than bidding that job out to the loudest, fastest, or most appealing. And my blueprint is simple:

Family Cruise--Our Ports

Our cruise included two ports, and we were all super excited for them. We were to have a morning in Key West and an afternoon and evening in Cozumel.  We had planned out our activities, including such tropical adventures as snorkeling, playing at the beach, and seeing alligators. However, the weather had a mind of its own, and none of those activities were possible due to rain--LOTS of it!

I really struggle with just going with the flow and making decisions as we go, so this was hard for me. I had spent lots of time researching and planning, and now we were having to make quick decisions about how to spend our time (and MONEY!) because we didn't want to waste our time there and felt that we could still do SOMETHING at our ports. It may be our only chance to visit there and we wanted to make the most of it.

So here's what we ended up doing:

The first thing we did in Key West was visit the shipwreck museum. Key West's first millionaires earned their riches by taking advantage of shipwrecks in the waters near there. They had a lookout tower, and the rules were, the first one to make it to the wreck claimed the spoils. At that time, there was about a shipwreck a week there! Crazy, huh?? The museum was interesting, and  I enjoyed the views from atop the tower.

Some of the artifacts from wrecked ships

From the top of the watch tower with our ship in the background. Notice that Mariah is not in this photo. She is scared of heights and didn't make the long climb up with us. 

After the shipwreck museum, we took a trolley tour of the island. Our tour guide was fabulous and gave us a great mix of history and humor. Key West is so cute! I loved all the old mansions and would love to stay a few days there sometime. Also, the vegetation was so unique and beautiful! I loved all the different types of trees and flowers they have.

Here's Connor pouting his way through the tour. He was super upset about the cancelled snorkel trip, and I didn't blame him. By the end of the day, he was okay and hopeful that we would be able to find a snorkel trip for him the following day in Cozumel.

We did hop off the tour once to check out the southern tip, which is the southernmost point in the USA. There was a ridiculously long line to take a picture in front of the monument there, so we opted to just stand behind it, which is REALLY the furthest south you can get, and take a picture there.

WE finished the morning with a little shopping where the kids were able to find some cheap souvenirs, and then headed back to the boat. It turned out to be a fun day.

The following day when we woke up and went out, the weather was decent. A little cool, but not raining. We were hopefuly that we could visit a beach or snorkel in Cozumel that afternoon. But by the time we got off the boat, it was an absolute downpour, which never stopped the entire time we were there. It was the worst rainstorm I have ever been in, and our driver that day couldn't stop commenting on how bad it was. He said they get rain there often, but not like this!

Luckily, we had rain ponchos, which kept us somewhat dry as we tried to figure out what to do. We talked to a guy that could take us around the island, give us some history, and also take us to the Mayan ruins there, which we figured we could do even in the rain. He also said that if the weather got better, he could take us to a beach resort. So we jumped in. And we lucked out! Our driver was great. Super friendly, knowledgeable about the island, and flexible with us and our indecisiveness at times. We really enjoyed learning more about Cozumel and its unique culture and history. Even the kids thought it was interesting. Our first stop was the Mayan Ruins there where we did a self-guided tour.  The walkways were rivers, adding to the jungle feel. 

 Our next stop was at a local restaurant. Tony and I LOVE authentic Mexican food and that was definitely on our list for Cozumel, so we asked our driver to take us to a place he likes to take his family. We ordered several different things and all shared. It was delicious, a great atmosphere, and somehow neither of us too a single picture! :( Oh well. 

The last thing we did was a little souvenir shopping, where we found a few little things to remember our time there.  Tony said he thinks he liked what we did better than what we had planned. I'm not gonna lie--I reaaaallllly wanted to lay out on a warm beach during out trip, but it didn't work out that way. But it was a pretty good, and definitely memorable day. 

Family Cruise--Fun Onboard

We chose to do a 4-day cruise on the Carnival Ecstasy. Now, from an adult perspective, Carnival is NOT my favorite cruise line. The only others I've gone on have been Royal Caribbean and Holland America. But for kids, it was great! It was the kids' first cruise and they were so amazed with everything! It was fun to sort of cruise for the first time again through them and their perspective. WE got on board on a Monday, and as early as possible, which turned out to be around 1pm. So we had the rest of that day to explore, get our bearings, eat, and enjoy the boat. We also had one day at sea on our itinerary (Thursday), which gave us a lot more time to do everything we could on the ship.  I'll highlight some of our favorite things through pictures:

Probably our favorite place to be was up on deck, especially that first day when the weather was decent. (Decent means about 70 degrees and breezy.) The port of Miami is super cool to cruise out of as there are a couple small islands with huge mansions on your way out. Also, there is a freeway that goes right alongside you, and the people all honk and wave as you set out. It is a fun and exciting atmosphere and feeling.

Here's me feeling carefree as we say goodbye to land!

One of the kids' favorite places to be was the mini-golf course. It wasn't anything too fancy, but we played LOTS of rounds of mini golf. We had a few problems with some over-competetiveness, but overall, it was just a lot of fun.

One of the main reasons we chose Carnival was the waterslides. And while they were a lot of fun, the kids maybe did about 30 mins to an hour TOTAL of watersliding, taking advantage of the best weather on Monday afternoon and then Thursday morning. Otherwise, it was just too darn cold. BUMMER! 

Inside, they liked the atrium, especially the glass elevators, which we took many times when it really would have been quicker to take the stairs.

The favorite onboard experience for Tony and me (and the kids loved it too!) was definitely the dining room. We love enjoying a fabulous dinner each night with no prices on the menu! The kids were adventurous and tried new things, including escargot and alligator fritters. And there was something they LOVED each night as well. I may have gained a few pounds in this room, but I enjoyed every bite!

Besides the food, the other thing we liked about the dining room is the more formal experience, especially on formal night, when we all got dressed up (minus Tony, who forgot to pack a tie.)

Mariah's favorite dish was salmon, which they had two of the nights. On the other two nights, she opted for the mahi mahi. Every night, she had her side of white rice. Fish and rice. Her favorites!

Mylie enjoyed a variety of things for dinner, but always had a shrimp cocktail (or two!) for an appetizer before.

Connor mixed things up the most, but really loved the beef. Here he is with his prime rib on formal night.

We also really loved all the onboard programs and entertainment. The kids visited their kids clubs every day for activities that they thought sounded fun. Connor probably went the most, which surprised me, but he made a few buddies quickly and like hanging out with kids his age. The also had several scavenger hunts around the ship, as well as all kinds of tournaments for different sports and games, so he was happy there. The girls had fun too, with various activities, crafts, and meeting new friends.  We all enjoyed the musical shows offered, especially their motown show, and british musicians show. The singers and dancers were fun to watch, and I was really impressed with how modest the outfits were. Best I've seen on a cruise. Two of the nights, Tony, the girls, and I went to their show twice! 

Carnival also offers a PG comedy night, or kids' comedy. We went to that and had fun. We went to the Hasboro game show activity and had a great time even though we didn't get on stage. But during the pre-show of one of the shows, Mylie got to do a game, so that was fun for her. Another thing we enjoyed was the ice carving demonstration. this guy was amazing, creating an Indian chief out of an ice block in under 15 minutes.  Although the weather wasn't what we had hoped for, there were still lots of onboard activities that kept us busy and entertained.

Finally, our cabin. We got the cheapest interior cabin available, and it was a tight fit. But the kids still thought it was GREAT! They had a bed rotation worked out within about a minute of seeing the setup, so they rotated who slept on the trundle bed as well as each bunkbed. Tony and I enjoyed the king bed and dark room, but other than that, we were grateful we really didn't spend much time in there. Another highlight about our room was the towel animals each night and our room steward who called us by name in passing from the first day. Very impressive! 

Family Cruise--Before Getting Onboard

I'm going to cover our cruise in three parts to spare anybody suffering through a SUPER LONG post. I'll cover our travel experience in this post, then I'll post about our fun onboard the ship, and finally talk about our ports.

Originally, we had planned to just drive to Long Beach and cruise from there with our three oldest kids. But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to do a more "tropical" cruise, like Bahamas or Caribbean. So I started researching ways to earn travel points more quickly and discovered in May that I could easily earn enough points in 6 months or less to fly the five of us to Florida. I was super excited (and a little nervous since this was new to me) about this idea and jumped right in. I signed up for two different Southwest Airlines credit cards, one after another, met the spending requirements, and did a few other things to reach the 110,000 points required to earn the companion pass. With Southwest's Companion Pass, the rewards account holder can designate one companion who gets a free flight anytime they fly for the rest of the year it was earned in, as well as the following calendar year. WOW, huh? So we earned that, meaning one of us flew for free, and with the 110,000 points, we had more than enough points to fly us all for free.

The only thing I didn't like about flying on Southwest was that we had to fly into Fort Lauderdale rather than Miami. But other than that, we were very impressed with Southwest. We each checked a bag for free, I made a mistake booking our flights and we were able to change them for free, and they went out of their way to acommodate our family. I will definitely fly with them again. (Obviously--we have the companion pass!! :) )

We had a layover in Dallas on the way, which the kids didn't mind. They were really excited about flying and thought the whole experience was just so cool!

We flew in the night before. I like to do that when cruising to make sure we never miss our boat due to a missed or delayed flight. Since we had to fly into Fort Lauderdale, I figured we ought to make the most of it, so I booked us the cheapest room I could find--right on the beach. The room was nothing to write about, but the beach was really fun. We didn't really get in the water, but enjoyed the sand and doing some wading. We didn't realize it then, but that was the only beach time we were going to get during the entire "tropical" cruise. I'm sure glad we took advantage of that morning before.

A Few Christmastime Photos

I didn't do a very good job capturing our Christmas celebration this year. But we had a great month! We didn't get to do our annual trip to SLC due to some amazing snow storms, but the kids loved all the sledding and playing in the snow that they got to do instead.   Here are a few pictures that I did get.  Santa made a surprise visit to our house this year!  Lewis was so funny with Santa. He didn't mind sitting on his lap at all, but just stared him down the entire time. He seriously would not look away for anything!  

Mylie loved getting to be in the Christmas play as an elf. She practiced all the songs so many times and loved being on stage. Here she is with her good friend, Jaylee Antonino, after the show.

Of course, we decorated sugar cookies one day. The boys loved helping me roll out the dough and cut the cookies. (Brady loved helping. Lewis loved being up on the stool and feeling so big!)

Here's the good-looking crew on the Sunday before Christmas. They look pretty sharp in their Christmas clothes from Grandma Patty.  I feel so blessed when I look at this picture. They really are great kids!

Mylie's Birthday

For Mylie's 10th birthday, we did something a little extra special. I let her invite a few friends and we had a party at the rec. center in Rock Springs so they could go ice skating! It was a huge hit! I also made a volleyball cake (since volleyball is her favorite thing ever these days). I experimented with fondant for my first time, and it turned out pretty good. She was thrilled with it, so that's what matters.