My Honorary Degree

Okay, so I tricked you into reading this. I don't really have any honorary degree, but I think I (and every other mother out there) really deserve one. Earlier this week, in one day, I had three friends post (either on a blog or facebook) that they were having trouble getting their babies to sleep. It made me think about that problem and many other issues that we face in this crazy job called mothering, and I realized that motherhood is really just one never-ending series of problem solving. And after having been at it more-than-full-time for six years, I think I should at least have a Bachelor's Degree in problem solving. And my incredible mother, who has been in the business now for nearly 30 years should definitely have an honorary Ph.D.

I remember back in elementary school when I was learning about problem solving in math. We went over many different method of problem solving and then tried to choose the most appropriate method for the problem. I don't remember very many of those techniques, but the one I do remember is the one I use CONSTANTLY in mothering: GUESS AND CHECK. I think that every problem I've solved with my kids has been solved via this method. For example:

Mariah has almost always been a great sleeper. She actually slept 14 hours straight when she was just 4 weeks old. However, at about 6 weeks, we started having problems during the day. She just could not get to sleep. I tried rocking, I tried nursing, I tried bouncing, car rides, etc. It was so much work to get her to sleep, and then after I laid her down, she'd be awake again with 20 minutes. Finally, one day I just decided that she could cry in her crib just as well as she could cry in my arms and so I laid her in there. She cried for a few minutes, then went to sleep . . . and slept for 2 hours! Later that day, same thing. And suddenly, we had a sleeper again! I guess she didn't want any help. Guess and check!

For the past two months or so, she's been waking up once (or twice) in the night and wanting another bottle. I know she doesn't NEED one, but she didn't want to go back to sleep until she got it. I was getting fed up with this, and wondering what to do. I tried a few things, and finally remembered how well she slept at night when she was on formula. So I tried it one night. We have now had an entire week of Mariah sleeping 10 or more hours straight at night! Guess and check!

I've been struggling quite a bit with Mylie lately. She basically just wants to do what she wants to do--regardless of what I want her to do or what the consequences may be. I've tried all forms of persuasion, discipline, etc. And then this week, I accidentally found an answer. Things aren't perfect still, but it's amazing how well she obeys me when I talk with a southern accent! Guess and check.

Connor has a problem with his temper. We've done incentives such as sticker charts or quarters when he goes all day without losing his temper, we've tried punishing him--timeouts--for losing it, we've had tons of talks on the subject, and it actually is getting better all the time. However, I don't quite consider this problem SOLVED. And so we're trying something else. We had Connor set one new year's resolution this year, and HE chose to stop losing his temper. He wrote it on a piece of paper and taped it up in his room. We refer to it often and remind him that he doesn't want to lose his temper. Maybe this year and this method will be just the thing. We're guessing--and will be checking constantly.

So for you new mothers out there who are wanting some ANSWERS: I don't have any. Just try something. And then try again. And again. And eventually you'll find what works. And when you do, celebrate. But beware. The next problem is just around the corner, waiting to test your newly acquired problem solving skills.

And for you more veteran mothers, I have a question: Is there a better method than guess and check? It would really save me a lot of time and hassle if there is. And maybe if I had more than one tool in my bag, I could graduate and move onto my master's program.