Deceptive Housewives

A couple weeks ago, I had an experience that has made me think . . . A LOT. It may seem minor, but it has really made me rethink some things about being a wife and mother, as well as what my house and home mean to me.

I stopped in unannounced on a friend one day to take her a loaf of bread. As soon as she let me in, she scurried up the stairs ahead of me, obviously flustered about something. As I came up the stairs behind her, I could see her picking up a few toys and throwing them into the bedroom, then grabbing some magazines and setting them neatly on a table. She was blushing as she quickly apologized to me about her messy house. I told her it was okay. I didn't mind.

Later, as I had some time to think about this, I realized that I have done this same thing before. Maybe I didn't hurry to clean up the mess, but I still apologized for it. I wondered what the apology for a messy house actually means. Is it, "I'm so sorry to OFFEND you with this mess? Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?" Probably not. I've stayed in other people's messy houses for extended periods of time, and have never once felt offended that there was a mess there. Are we saying, "I'm so sorry. I slipped a little today and became a mom rather than a maid."? No. I don't think we're apologizing for being a mom, either. Maybe we're trying to say, "I'm so sorry that my children have been playing in my house today. Had I know you were coming, I would have plopped them in front of the TV all day so my house would stay absolutely clutter-free." Nope. That's not what we mean, either. Then I had a flashback. . .

A couple Christmases ago, I invited all my family to my house for a Christmas Eve dinner. The day of the dinner, I was totally stressing out trying to not only get the food ready, but also have my house in PERFECT order. I was vacuuming, dusting, cleaning bathrooms, and nearly crying because my windows were dirty, my light fixtures needed cleaning, and there may be some dirty laundry that somebody might see. In the middle of it all, Tony asked me, "Isn't it kind of like lying? You know, having your house so much better for company that you do normally?" I thought for a second, and said, "I'm not sure if it's really lying, but I guess it is some type of deception." Since then, I've thought about that every single time I'm cleaning house for guests. As I take clutter from my counter and stuff it into a cabinet so nobody will know that I often leave mail on TOP of the counter (Awful, isn't it!?), in the back of mind there's a little voice saying, "Deceptive, deceptive, deceptive . . ."

So I think the apology is just another form of our deception as housewives. "So sorry you're seeing the truth here. Had I known you were coming, I surely would have tried to deceive you into believing that my house is always impeccably clean, and I have it all together!"

I had another thought-provoking experience at stake conference last week. A speaker was talking about Mary and Martha, and as he read the last verse, it said something new to me--something it had never said to me in the previous times I'd read it. "But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:42). When the speaker read this verse, I instantly thought about how many times I have said in frustration, "I spend all my time cleaning this house, only to have it be a mess the next day!" That's it. I'm spending all my time and energy on things that CAN be taken away from me. I need to refocus my efforts toward those things that "shall not be taken away from [me]." Things like relationships with my husband and children, time spent serving others, and memories made with my family.

So I'm done. I'm done deceiving. Don't get me wrong. I love a clean house. I'll still have one from time to time. I know the scripture that says we should establish a house of order. I know that the Spirit will be in our homes when we take care of them. But I don't think the Spirit is offended by some mail on the counter, or some toys in the living room, or even a room full of couch cushions being used for a pole vault pit (see post below). So if a little clutter offends you, don't come over. There may be some. And I'm not going to apologize for it. I'm not a maid. I'm not a "housewife." I'm a mom: a less-than-perfect mom with less-than-perfect children. But I absolutely love them, and I'm doing my best. And that's no lie.

Poor Barbie, Silly Mylie, Intense Connor

The other day, I did something I had never done before. It was so easy, I didn't even know I'd done it until it was done. I melted a Barbie. That's right. Melted it. In the oven. Poor girl.

This is the latest mishap in our household that can be attributed to Mylie's silliness. See, for her, the barbie can't just be a barbie. I guess it had to be a food instead. And since Barbie is a food, she must need cooked. In a pan in Mom's oven. The same oven she uses to cook dinner, which she usually does by first preheating the oven without looking inside to see if there might be a barbie in there. But that's Mylie for you. She's quite the girl. The line between real and imaginary is very foggy for Mylie. She's the best pretender I've ever known, in fact. The following recent examples are great evidence of that fact.

Yesterday morning, Mylie was laying down in the kitchen and tried to do a situp. I was encouraging her "Come on, up, up, up! You can do it!" as she struggled. She couldn't quite get it, so I just moved on with what I was doing. Then I hear Mylie saying, "Good job. You did it. Mom, my cereal is good at situps." What?!? I looked over to see her "helping" her small tupperware bowl of cereal tip from its side to an upright position. What can't bowls do situps?

Tessa shared another example with me. Mylie stayed at their house last week, and started playing something very concrete with Tessa--dominoes. Then things got out of hand. Mylie built a house with the dominoes. Then she started using buttons as people! She wanted Tessa to play with her, but Tessa (like me) had no idea how to play something so ridiculous. Luckily Grandpa did, and stepped in quickly.

It looks like Mylie is being a ballerina, but honestly--who knows?

Here she is making "witch food."

Mylie is also quite a story-teller. I think this is a result of her shady understanding of what is real and what is not. One day, while traveling in the van, Mylie started telling me all about something she and Connor had been playing earlier that day. She went on describing many details of their game. I then asked, "When did you play that?" One word came from Connor in the back seat: "Never." And that is the first piece of evidence to support the fact that Connor is the most serious and intense (about REAL things, of course) kid I've ever known.

When we go to the library, Connor heads straight to the non-fiction section. He has no time for the nonsense of stories. He wants to know about REAL things--like how many feet tall T-Rex was, or how many mph a drag racing car can go.

Connor's serious, intense, and obsessive personality really comes through in sports, which he LOVES! For about 5 months this winter, Connor spent every waking moment with basketball on the brain. He watched it on TV (full Jazz games!), in highlight films (he knows every superstar from 1985 to today), and of course in real life. He went to ball practice with his dad nearly every day, where he'd spend two hours dribbling and shooting. You think that would be enough. Not hardly. He created his own basketball court in our kitchen (see below) where he would work on his basketball at home, too. He told me he had to practice for 99 minutes every day (He used a timer!), since he was going to be in the NBA someday. And he would do AT LEAST that every day. Suddenly his old computer games were worthless. It had to be basketball. At the library, he checked out books about basketball. He wore a uniform every day (under his clothes, if we were going outside). It was intense.





Then about a month ago, things started to change. It's now track season. Dad coaches pole vault, and Connor now has a new obsession. Take everything I mentioned above (TV, highlight films, computer games, practice, and building your own model at home), substitute pole vault for basketball, and you have Connor's current life. The kid is crazy. I now need a new broom, since mine became a pole vault pole. My couch is never put together, and my bar stools are never where they belong, since they serve as the pit and standards for his crossbar. Oh well. At least I don't have a basketball court in my kitchen anymore.



So, I wonder, what will Mariah be like? Apparently, these kids come with personalities and interests all their own. However, Connor goes to school next fall, so the majority of her time will be spent with Mylie. Looking at the picture below (Mylie's doing, of course), I wonder, does she have much of a chance?

I LOVE the Internet!!!

There are many reasons that I love the internet. Here are my two latest favorites:

www.pandora.com Check this out for FREE internet radio. You can choose from a list of genre categories, or type in an artist to listen to music by them and other artists with similar style. I've been absolutely loving this! Yesterday, I got a little bluegrass, a little motown, a little Jack Johnson and others with some great mellow acoustic guitar sounds, and some LDS music, like Hilary Weeks and others.

www.mapmyrun.com Runners, you're gonna love this. After my run today, I got on this site and using the satellite map, mapped out where I ran. It told me the exact distance I had run. Then I used the workout calculator, entered my stats (age, height, weight, and my time for the run), and it calculated my pace and calories burned. Then I calculated another loop route I'd like to run soon, and found out that it's 6.63 miles. Nice to know.

If you have any other great reasons to love the internet, let me know!

Spring Break '09

Our spring break started the Thursday before Easter. Tony got out of school at noon, and we loaded up and headed to Cheyenne to visit his brother, Matt, and his family. We stayed until Sunday afternoon, and I could bore you to death with a play-by-play of the weekend's activities, but how about a few highlights instead?

*A trip to the state capitol building--Tony spent a lot of time here as a kid with his dad in the state legislature. Also, it was fun to show the kids where Grandpa Ron will work if he's elected Governer--He's running in 2010!

*Visit to the Wyoming Museum of History--lots of interesting artifacts and fun stuff for the kids!

*Going running WITH Tony--we NEVER get to do this! I ran him into the ground, of course (JK--he's an animal!)

*Two hours of shopping ALL BY MYSELF

*Great food--this is what you always get when you visit Matt and Ashby

*Lots of fun time for the kids playing with their cousins

*A trip with all the kids to Sam's Club (always fun!)

*Dinner at Old Chicago--yum, yum!

*Sleepless nights, since Mariah only likes her crib apparently (I guess this is more of a lowlight)

*Easter egg dyeing


*Easter egg hunt, complete with some gifts from the Easter Bunny

Mariah, enjoying her new bumbo chair. The Easter Bunny got a GREAT deal on this at Once Upon a Child!

Mylie, loving her chocolate bunny and new cheerleader outfit.

The three kiddos in their Easter church clothes. We were in a huge hurry for 9am church, so this is the best picture we got.

We got home late Sunday night, and Monday morning, I packed up the three kids and went to Layton, where we played at a fun center with two of Tony's sisters and their kids! It was such a blast, with a huge Pirate-themed jungle gym, several large blow-up toys for bouncing and sliding, an arcade, and a roller rink. We stayed for five hours, and the kids didn't want to leave. I think we'll be going there again!




Tony also enjoyed some ranch work on Monday and Tuesday of his spring break. It is branding time, and Tony was lucky enough to be home for one day of it! Connor and Mariah seemed to like the branding, but Mylie was a little scared--actually terrified until I held her and promised not to set her down anywhere near any of the calves.



The highlight of it all, however, was just spending time together as a family and creating memories which will last a lifetime. (Sounds like a cheesy ad for hamburger helper or something, I know. But it's TRUE!)

Micheli Mix

Some random ramblings of recent Micheli activities:

First of all, I'm closing the poll, because honestly, nobody really cares who Mariah looks more like. But, the results pretty much went along with what I thought. She's a mix, but about 2 parts Connor to every one part Mylie. Here's a picture of her with the sibling she more closely resembles.

Secondly, a little over a week ago, we went bowling. It was tons of fun! Connor and Mylie did great, although I thought Connor was going to put a hole in the floor with the way he threw his ball. I did okay (thanks to the bumpers we put up--they're just for the kids, right?) :) Tony won, of course.

Last of all, I have finally joined the club. The Mormon Moms for Vinyl Letters Club! It's been a long process, but I am officially in. It all started about a year and a half ago when Tony's sister got a new house and used some really cute vinyl lettering to decorate various parts of it. The seed was planted. I just knew I had to have some of that in my house. I stumbled upon an old friend soon after and found out that she sold the stuff. So I got her catalog and number. It sat on my counter for over a year while I decided whether I really wanted to spend the money on it, and if I did, what color, what font, what words, where would I put it up? The questions were just too much, so I didn't do anything. Then we got our family pictures taken. I took about 2 months to get them printed and on the wall. And then I knew where my vinyl letters should be. I headed to a craft fair and ordered EXACTLY what I wanted. A couple weeks later, I had them. I was so excited that I set them on the counter and left them there. About a month later, I was feeding Mariah when Mylie called out, "Mom, I'm helping you! I put your stickers on the wall!" What was she talking about? "What stickers?" "The word ones!" Oh my gosh! I rushed out to see what she had done, but it was too late. Half of the lettering was ruined. So then two or three more weeks went by with me deciding whether to just eat the $50 I'd spent, or spend about $25 more to replace what was lost. I went with the latter. I finally ordered them, picked them up, and then (being much smarter this time) let them sit on top of my DRESSER, which is MUCH higher up--for about 3 weeks. Then last Wednesday night, after the kids were in bed, I said, "Hey Tony, I know you're really wanting to help me put those vinyl letters on the wall." He could hardly wait. Well, something like that. I thought it might be one of those things where once you get started, it's actually kind of fun. No such luck. It was terribly tedious, boring, and gave me a sore neck. But here's the finished product. I suppose it was worth it. And even if not, at least I'm in the club now.

I am NOT the Biggest Loser!

Tuesday was the final day of the biggest loser contest I've been doing for the last 3 months or so. Can you believe I didn't win it with results like this?!?!!

BEFORE

AFTER

Haha. Seriously, though, even though I didn't win, I did make my New Year's Resolution of dropping 10 lb. So I suppose it was worth the $25 entry fee.